ICC Chairman N. Srinivasan today released the body’s annual Easter message.
The message delivery is usually reserved for the President, but after his resignation last week, the recluse Srinivasan took it upon himself to preach to his flock.
Dear cricket worshipers.
This Easter, I urge you all to remember why Easter is incredibly important to so many.
The holiday does of course celebrate my resurrection after being crucified by the Supreme Court of India. Those unbelievers described me as nauseating and then crucified me. But I have arisen from the dead. I am still King of Cricketstan.
Of course, I would like to thank my 12 disciples. A special blessing goes out to the 10 Test playing nations plus Ireland and Afghanistan. These are my brothers. Many stories will be written about them. In the future, people will call these collective blurbs the ‘New Wisden’.
Easter prompts us that we do still face tumultuous times and need to retain and further embrace our faith. Injustices remain where a cancelled tour of Pakistan only costs Bangladesh $300k, but one of India costs the West Indies $42m. Many people still do not have access to clean administrations, DRS or the ability to play in the IPL. The tags of Associate and Affiliate still enslave men and withhold back opportunities forwarded to others.
So I urge all cricket worshipers to continue to buy overpriced tickets, stop illegally streaming matches you can’t see on free to air TV and ensure you resist the temptation to speak poorly of Alastair Cook.
Giles will now hand out KFC drumsticks as a symbol of how sponsors should always come before anything.
Yours in exultation.