With their Ashes series going as well as a Mormon’s doorknocking success rate in Saudi Arabia, England have today elected to strengthen their coaching line up.
English Director of Cricket Andrew Strauss has announced that Graeme Swann will join the team as official Coach of Quitting.
Graeme brings unparalleled experience to the role. Many people forget that on our last tour to Australia, he was the first to quit. Ironically, it was after the WACA Test where we are now.
I’m hoping he can have an immediate impact. I will only be in a place to judge that in the aftermath of this Perth disaster, but I’d be flabbergasted if at least one bloke didn’t follow his lead and pull the pin mid series with his team in disarray.
This Ashes Tour has been cursed with the obvious lack of a Quitting Coach from the beginning.
Ben Stokes didn’t know when to quit breaking other people’s eye sockets. Overton didn’t know when to quit making racist remarks on the field. Bairstow didn’t know when to quit headbutting opponents.
For his part, Graeme Swann was upbeat about the future
For me, quitting defines a man. It shows character and commitment to the cause like nothing else. This team gives me so much to work with. My short terms plans involve working with Cook, Anderson, Broad and Moeen. I would have expected more from them in the quitting stakes to date.
I’ll also work with Joe Root on quitting the captaincy and Trevor Bayliss’s Head Coaching role.
Ultimately, I’d love to be able to take England to a place where they quit cricket altogether. But let’s be honest, that’s a long way off. However, with proper planning, we can get there.
UPDATE: Graeme Swann has quit his role as England’s Official Quitting Coach. More to come…..