
The ICC have reacted quickly today in an effort to quell the uprising of support to have Kumar Sangakkara labelled as a modern day great.
ICC CEO, apparatchik and ex South African list clogger David Richardson was quoted as saying that the ICC had to move fast to avoid a cricketing crisis.
“Today, Kumar Sangakkara retired with a mountain of Test runs.
While a great achievement in isolation, the ICC have been prompted to delve a little deeper to ensure we protect the sanctity of cricket’s records.”
Richardson went on to explain that Sangakkara’s Test stats were bloated by playing less of the Big 3 nations.
“Kumar averaged 57.40 for his career. But if you look at his record against the Big 3 being India, England and Australia, it becomes much less.
Well, in the case of India, his average is still well over 50 but you get my point.
Against the countries that run and profit the most from cricket, he doesn’t do as well.”
The ICC chief offered up further explanation.
“Sir Donald Bradman never got to play against Bangladesh or Zimbabwe. He also never got to play at the SSC ground in Sri Lanka.
Therefore, we were given a choice.
We could posthumously increase Bradman’s average to something like 150 to recognise what he most likely would have done against those teams, or we could cut Kumar’s average down.
We chose the latter as it was a little easier for the intern running our stats department.”
After removing Bangladesh and Zimbabwe from Sangakkara’s stats, the ICC claim that his new Test average is more like 53.87
“We believe that an average like 53.87 is much more reflective of his performances overall.
In fact, we then took another 0.1 off it to ensure it was less that Sachin’s 53.78
Kumar Sangakkara’s new seasonally adjusted Test average will therefore now be 53.77 in perpetuity. We don’t really care if he makes a comeback. This figure is permanent.”
The ICC also removed Sangakkara’s 9 Test centuries made against Zimbabwe and Bangladesh. This brings him down to the same amount of hundreds as Bradman.
‘The comparison now looks better’ said Richardson.
“Not only is his test batting average almost half of Sir Don’s, but Bradman has a Test bowling average better than Ishant Sharma and Sangakkara doesn’t.”
The ICC believe that this change now protects the legacy of Sachin, Ponting, Kallis and Lara as the modern day greats.
“Sangakkara still has some records.
For example, no other player in Test cricket history who has a double ‘k’ in their name has made as many runs or centuries.
Kumar and Sri Lankan cricket can be very proud of that stat.
It may never be broken”
In that case one should remove Bangladesh and Zimbabwe Averages from modern day cricket greats such as Sachin, Ponting, Kallis and Lara as well and you’ll see Sangakara will still be leading. 😉
Yeah. Probably
also note that ICC chief, bradman never met with Mr.Muttiah Muralitharan. If so, Bradmans Average may be less than 40. LOL. what a funny comparision are you mad.??????????
well said…
Sachin centuries, how many LBWs not given by Indian umpires?
I think WI and ENG were only strong test playing nation during Bradman’s
days. Also, Bradman played mainly against ENG in ENG and AUS
(http://goo.gl/mn6WWn), so he was familiar with all pitches and bowlers.
Situation is totally different now. Anyway, no one should pay attention
to those stupid comments.
Hilarious article..!! Hilarity is of course directed at the intellectual level of the author..And thumbs up of @Kasi’s comment
Thanks. I love a good insult.
Dennis Licks Bradman’s Ass should be the REAL name of this stupid blog, and I know you will be deleting this post immediately, as you have done to several other posts that you simply can’t stomach. You quote the ICC chief, when he has absolutely made no such comment, just because you are (I hate to say the following because I am from the United States and this is not what we believe as a society) freaking Jobless, Ignorant, Racist, Fat Australian Faggot getting your jollies by “jerking off” when others respond to your stupid made-up bullshit — This observation is confirmed because you religiously respond to every comment posted. You really need help because you then impersonates as another idiot (OR gets a friend to post) that the intent of this article was SATIRE (by copying and pasting the meaning of satire) after you see huge backlash. OKIE now you can cum one more time, pea brain.
Wow! you sir, have made a right fool of yourself. You probably need look up the word ‘Sarcasm’
Pretty sure everyone on here knew those Quotes weren’t legit.
Seriously! don’t take this as a good insult but make sure you don’t write whatever you want cuz you don’t like Asians. You are a typical racist and if the ICC CEO made those comments then he is a racist too. You are basically comparing two different levels of cricket. I hope you are aware that Cricket evolved with the technology thus far and it will continue to evolve in the future as well. First learn your history, do a research on then Cricket and now. Never write whatever you think cuz you’ll be regarded as just another writer who writes solely based on his ego and ideals than respecting information. support your facts without just laying them off on a friggin blog. Don’t try to be a smarty pants without being able to support your article with facts.
one has to be sick at mind to do this, depriving a man for his exceptional work.
This comment is true
Guys you are barking down the wrong three 😀 Atleast get the hint from the 0.1 reduction scenario 😀
unbelievable stupidity:-)
Dennis Licks Bradman’s Ass, should be the REAL
name of this stupid blog, and I know you will be deleting this post
immediately, as you have done to several other posts that you simply can’t
stomach. You quote the ICC chief, when he has absolutely made no such comment,
just because you are (I hate to say the following because I am from the United
States and this is not what we believe as a society) a freaking Jobless,
Ignorant, Racist, Fat Australian Faggot getting your jollies by “jerking
off” when others respond to your stupid made-up bullshit — This
observation is confirmed because you religiously respond to every comment
posted. You really need help because you then impersonates as another idiot (OR
gets a friend to post) that the intent of this article was SATIRE (by copying
and pasting the meaning of satire) after you see huge backlash. OKIE now you
can cum one more time, pea brain.
Oh that illusive thing called humour. Some people just doesn’t get it. Great article, enjoyed it.
You mean it was funny?
People should always realize that with all due respect to Sir Don Bradman, he may have never played against Bangladesh or Zimbabwe but he had never played during an era where cricket is so competitive & developed to an extent of studying batsman’s techniques, strengths & weaknesses to capitalize using the latest technology spending millions. I’m sorry say this as I’m one of the biggest fans of S. D. B., but he payed in era where bowlers just run & deliver the ball. Hope he played in an era which there are so many bowling variations, dedicated bowling coaches for each country & various pitches made to the liking of respective country played against…
What was Bodyline then? Do uncovered pitches matter?
not to worry macho this a haters blog 😛
Is it some kind of joke, Dennis….
I don’t believe people represent ICC said b***s*** like this….
Anyways, I feel Sanga doesn’t care much about this, as greats like him doesn’t give a d*** and answer on the field
Yes, it is some kind of a joke. Some call it parody
Excellent satire! Love you man!
Did you subscribe?
yeah 🙂
Utter Bullshit…. Even then Sir Don has played only (mostly) against England where he knew the bowlers tactics merrily….So dont try to compare that era with current era. Coz Sir Don,Sachin & Sangakkara will be always considered as the GREATS of the Game..
I have done similar stats over the years to wind up fans of Ian Bell by deleting his Bangladesh runs. He averages 42 without them in test cricket.
Why does everyone assume that all batsmen double their average against Bangladesh?
They don’t, in Bell’s case they triple them!
this is a good and entertaining article indeed but, does the ICC also have any ideas to revise the 2007 aussie world cup victory with the squash ball incident and the poor light conditions.
im sure the likes of Sir don bradman wouldn’t do such things as well!!! (please do note no offence to that great player or his talent )
“…do the ICC have any ideas…?”
No
but then why mess with Sangakkara?
I have read some of your articles, And then I realized this is a joke.
A really good one 😀 :p
When the ICC is involved, it is possible it is not a joke
sir donald wer so lucky cos ther wer no wasim,wackar,murali,ajmal,malinga,stain,kumbly when he banged the unlucky and un talented poor old day bowlers ..and post the records of the leading fast and spin bowlers of sir donalds time .. then we will c
.
Well said
And also those days Bradmon had the chance to bat 2nd time after he got out. And crickets rules were very soft compared to modern day cricket…
That’s where everything goes funny, when ICC is involved… haha…
Then ICC has to do something with Bradmans records against India & S.Africa too..
Because Bangladesh is better than Indian team at 1928 – 1948..
Look at the records 😉
Ooohhh. A Bangladesh v India comparison. Love it
Around 40’s, yeah.. look at the stats
Hey, I rally like your other satires man… 😀
Haha sarcasm at its best. Hats off to you dear Sir
good joke. I mean a good try. best part is reducing 0.1 because it should be lower than sachin’s.!!
Mother fucker Richardson u need to suck Australian and Indians dick…. y did u allow to play Zimbabwe and Bangladesh in test???
Dear Dennis. As the author of this article can you please confirm where and when these comments were made by David Richardson? And if this is the official position of the ICC of if this is just a hoax because I see nothing elsewhere with regards to any comments on Kumar Sangakkara’s records being altered!
It was from a one on one interview
one-on-one…?!? awww… on the bed with u huh ?? Lolz… #ROFL
Dennis Licks Bradman’s Asshole should be the REAL
name of this stupid blog, and I know you will be deleting this post
immediately, as you have done to several other posts that you simply can’t
stomach. You quote the ICC chief, when he has absolutely made no such comment,
just because you are (I hate to say the following because I am from the United
States and this is not what we believe as a society) a freaking Jobless,
Ignorant, Racist, Fat Australian Faggot getting your jollies by “jerking
off” when others respond to your stupid made-up bullshit — This
observation is confirmed because you religiously respond to every comment
posted. You really need help because you then impersonates as another idiot (OR
gets a friend to post) that the intent of this article was SATIRE (by copying
and pasting the meaning of satire) after you see huge backlash. OKIE now you
can cum one more time, pea brain.
This is utter rubbish article, if it so then why the hell ban & zim playing & even sachin, ponting , kallis etc take their runs & 100s then you where are they belongs.
This is an awesome article, are you crazy? It’s called satire, He is lifting up the great Sangakkara and recognizing his skills , while putting down the ICC, as if it’s something stupid they might do.
Satire: the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
I’ve never been labelled like that before Ed. I feel so patronised. 🙂
Dennis Licks Bradman’s Ass — That should be the REAL
name of this stupid blog, and I know you will be deleting this post
immediately, as you have done to several other posts that you simply can’t
stomach. You quote the ICC chief, when he has absolutely made no such comment,
just because you are (I hate to say the following because I am from the United
States and this is not what we believe as a society) a freaking Jobless,
Ignorant, Racist, Fat Australian Faggot getting your jollies by “jerking
off” when others respond to your stupid made-up bullshit — This
observation is confirmed because you religiously respond to every comment
posted. You really need help because you then impersonates as another idiot (OR
gets a friend to post) that the intent of this article was SATIRE (by copying
and pasting the meaning of satire) after you see huge backlash. OKIE now you
can cum one more time, pea brain.
sanga doesn’t have the natural talent as mahela,sanath & aravinda had but definitely hard worker than any of them that’s what make him special and better than them…sanga is the best example for that saying ” If you were born poor it’s not your mistake but if you die poor it’s your mistake”
sir donald wer so lucky cos ther wer no
wasim,wackar,murali,ajmal,malinga,stain,kumbly when he banged the
unlucky and un talented poor old day bowlers ..and post the records of
the leading fast and spin bowlers of sir donalds time .. then we will c
Uncovered pitches, crap bats when compared with modern bats, Bodyline bowling, No Helmets, Harold Larwood, Bradman was lucky my arse.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bodyline
This is hilarious , Who gave Zimbabwe and Bangaladesh ICC status ? this then under minds world cricket standards , Stop making excuses , He Kumar is a great batsman in the likes of Sir, Donald Bradman . If one would learn to Accept Defeat with honor, It sure will Make Cricket the Gentleman’s game it used to be …
racism, discrimination……………….
I agree. You should write to your local icc representative and complain.
LOL
Hilarious. Clearly you love the ICC as much as I do Dennis. Keep up the good work. 🙂
@Dennis I guess this is a joke, right? :p You totally had me there….
See Definition of Satire
I don’t do jokes
That’s insane, I guess no one has played such a wonderful 4th inning against one of best Australia’s bowling attacks except Sangakara. He scored 192 in 4th inning of a test match against Australia in Australia and was given out for a ball which caught off his helmet. I don’t think so called modern day heroes like “Sachin,Lara or Kallis” never played such a wonderful inning with elegance. Too bad your so called heroes weren’t good enough as Sangakkara
You have a great sense of sarcasm :D.
But anyway, is there any way to compare players who had played during different time spans? May be a weighted average or something?
the stupidest analysis ever by no.1 retard in the history of cricket
ok got it now. its humor by Dennise na?
So proud.
Did he say that India is one of big 3 in test cricket?? Is it based on performance or money they throw in to buy in?
A dog is barking. If Bradman was alive he would admit Sanga is a great player because Bradman was and still is a great. Greats come and go. Why somebody try to keep the greats as greats forever while new greats are emerging. I think it is not Sangas records have to be revied but the ass holes in the gentlemen’s game.
Well.. Mr. Dave Richardson, Sir Don Bradman played only against England and he never faced any oppositions like India and of course he never had any choice other than playing against the English.. For your information, if you consider Zimbabwe and Bangladesh as weak teams and they shouldn’t be playing test cricket, its ICC s fault (That includes YOU) such teams are given test status . On the other hand, England is no more the best test playing nation… May be 30 years ago… According to your analysis there is no modern greatness in cricket… Even Kallis averages 41 and 44 against Australia and England respectively however he averages 169 agaist Zim. So if you take that off then did you even think what is going to be his average…… thank you Mr Richardson for your hard work putting together one pathetic analysis on modern day greatness… LOL…. Go home OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE… ITs the 21st Century……
What a load of rubbish. Did you know that Sangakkara took fewer bathroom breaks than Tendulkar proving that his sturdier kidneys made him a better batsman? We are now looking into the number of bowel movements of both players, and the texture of their fecal matter which will also facilitate finding proof which one is the best batsman. It has been hinted that Tendulkar’s average bowel movement was also smaller in content than Sangakkara’s, with the extraordinary coincidence that the difference was almost exactly the same as the difference in their batting averages, Sangakkara’ 59 to Sachin’s 53. Our Indian friends are like the Christians of America – they are trying to make us believe in the one and true God, Sachin, whereas we Buddhists in Sri Lanka do not believe in deities. But both Sangakkara and Tendulkar are good cricketers, with Sangakkara perhaps having the edge because of his excellent wicket keeping record.
You totally had me until the point where the reduction of 0.1.. lol lol lol…..
the the sarcasm is well taken and the story delivers the intended message well.
Ha haaaaa…..this is a really funny article…..hay dennis, u almost had me there…..I was 2 blame at you……bt iv re read it….then only got the point….so this is the way ICCuns think……ha haaaa…..nice try…..cricket lovers, this is not an insult to great Sanga or any other cricket legend including Sir Bradman or Sachin…..
This is only the way ICC think……..
LOVE CRICKET
“no other player in Test cricket history who has a double ‘k’ in their name has made as many runs or centuries”. who is this dumb-ass ,and thought of a joke (hint) to entertain his committee but not the cricket world
I this this is not true, fake news..!!
It’s not fake news, it’s a humor article. picking on the ICC for all their stupidity.
Dennis Licks Bradman’s Ass should be the REAL name of this stupid blog, and I know you will be deleting this post immediately, as you have done to several other posts that you simply can’t stomach. You quote the ICC chief, when he has absolutely made no such comment, just because you are (I hate to say the following because I am from the United States and this is not what we believe as a society) a freaking Jobless, Ignorant, Racist, Fat Australian Faggot getting your jollies by “jerking off” when others respond to your stupid made-up bullshit — This observation is confirmed because you religiously respond to every comment posted. You really need help because you then impersonates as another idiot (OR gets a friend to post) that the intent of this article was SATIRE (by copying and pasting the meaning of satire) after you see huge backlash. OKIE now you can cum one more time, pea brain.
I think this is not true, its false news.
It’s not fake news,
It was a very funny article
It’s not fake news, it’s an article making fun of the ICC
Heh … it was funny; but unfortunately perhaps a bit too “believable” for the Sri Lankan fans. 😉 Kumar Sangakkara is one of Cricket’s Greats, as are the others who are on that list. 🙂
First of all, Sir Donald Bradmon is a god in cricket. But that never explains how Sanga is not a great cricketer. Players who played more than 100 tests, Sanga has the best average. I believe even if we cut Ban and Zim still he gets the top in the list. Even in the above article, he has 57.13 average against Ban. Especially when he got 287 against South africa and even today’s 203 made him so special to be remembered and he has so many other innings which makes him so special
The way to salute a hero is not to criticize him in a negative attitude or showing what he has never achieved. That ICC CEO should have a better idea to respect cricketing legends otherwise in the same manner one day he will criticize Si Donald Bradmon as well
Sanga is a cricketing great!, the article was satire
As a sri Lankan I’m so proud of kumar he is a gentleman not only for cricket but as a person. We do not have words to describe him. Whatever you said you cannot take back his popularity,talent and his qualities as a human being.
I’m a Sri Lankan and Big fan of Sanga. Really enjoyed your article. For me Its a BIG 6 against BIG 3
sachin who cares… he is not a good batsman.. everyone knows sanga is the best batsman in the world now a days.. don do like stupid thing..,, indian fuckers… srilankans talented than stupid shitty indians thats it
So Bradman scored most of his runs against England, that is the equivalent of playing Zimbabwe today
And in sir bradmans days I think the law rules were also different. I don’t know where ICC gets their logics from
And in sir bradmans days I think the lbw rules were also different. I don’t know where ICC gets their logics from
Please go through Richardson’s records! It’s sucks!
cheap way to get people to view this rubbish article
We need intelligent ICC chief .
LOL! is this a joke! I’d Pick Kumar Lara and Jack Kallis over people like Sachin Tendulkar Anytime! Not anyone of them are from so called big three!
Who is Bradman???
Dennis does cricket has been day dreaming….and ended up with a nightmare………….!!!!!
What a load of bastards in the ICC panal! The favour the Aussies, indians and sounth Africans. Looking at these assumptions makes me realized how biased the system. But again this is not an official web page so this could be a haters work
{Holding my head, shaking it in disbelief} i understand there is a language barrier ,but I can’t believe how many people are not understanding that this is a great article, it’s HUMOR, It’s satire, poking fun at the ICC and also pointing out how great Sanga really is.
Edward, more than the language barrier it’s the fact that satire or sarcasm is culturally almost non existent in Sri Lanka. So most of us here don’t do a very good job recognizing it. Sad to see most of the comments here but you have to admit, it’s a good laugh 😉
Great point, i have found this out playing sub continent players for the last 12 years in USA league cricket. And yes your right , I’ve had a good laugh.