In a surprise to no one given that the WICB leaks more than a glass made from Swiss cheese, Phil Simmons was this week sacked as coach of the West Indian men’s team.
Hiding being his media manager, WICB President David Cameron made them put out a press release stating that there were “differences in culture and strategic direction” between Simmons and the Board.
“Let’s be very clear” Cameron said.
Simmons took us to the World T20 Championship. He managed to keep the massive egos in our team under control. He ensured that their were no more paternity suits against Chris Gayle.
Winning and discipline are two sacrosanct values that have no place in West Indies cricket.
We couldn’t stand by and watch Phil help make us great again.”
In reply, Simmons said that he has been expecting the axe to fall after Twitter reported his sacking two weeks before it actually happened.
“Darren Sammy rang me and said some clown on social media going by the name of @PresidentCameron tweeted a random biblical affirmation about failure and that my photo was attached to it.
That’s when I had my suspicions.
I guess my failing was speaking the truth, winning and not having any players strikes.”
The WICB said that they have consulted with Kim Jung Un and have narrowed down the next coach to a short list of one.
“It is critical that the next West Indies coach has experience of being a Board’s puppet.
Therefore, we expect Dave Richardson to accept the role by the end of the week”