Pakistan Parliament’s Inter-Provincial Coordination Committee today grilled PCB Executive Committee Chairman Najam Sethi regarding the use of push ups.
Inter-Provincial Coordination Committee: We, as a properly constituted committee of the Parliament of Pakistan do hereby open these proceedings.
Najam Sethi: Ummm.Excuse me. Is this for real?
IPCC: Yes. We are an actual committee and we want to know about push ups in the national cricket team.
NS: I’m being punk’d right? (looks around for hidden cameras)
IPCC: Why are players performing push ups after making hundreds and instead not offering nawafil (special prayers)?
NS: You are an actual real committee and the people of Pakistan voted for you to ask me this rubbish? How much do you get paid to waste time like this?
IPCC: This is important. Push ups have the potential to destabilise the country.
NS: No mate. That’s what the Taliban do. Or the lack of a reliable power supply. Or when Taher Shah released that ‘Eye to Eye’ song. Why isn’t there a Taher Shah committee?
IPCC: They are currently meeting in the next room. Did you see his ‘Angel’ music video? Genius.
NS: (looks around for hidden cameras)
IPCC: How come your Yasir Shah doesn’t sing?
IPCC: We are of the opinion upon that push ups are a sign of showing support to the army
NS: Yes. It is. They trained us and we reached number 1 in the world.
IPCC: The same army that couldn’t find bin Laden in our own backyard?
NS: Well, yeah. I guess so.
IPCC: We order you to stop the practice. It looks like eleven grown men simultaneously simulating sexual relations. Can you do star jumps instead? That would be more family friendly.
NS: I’ll ask Misbah
IPCC: Thank you
NS: Are you really a committee formed to grill me about push ups?
IPCC: Yes. What else would we be here for?
NS: I don’t know. Maybe as elected officials you could focus on fixing our relationship with India or something like that?
IPCC: But your team was doing push ups. Get some perspective.