In what may yet prove to be one of the biggest hoaxes since the moon landing, a man has claimed to have never bagged Shane Watson.
Barry Longsmith, a 63 year old native of Toowoomba, has told local reporters that he in fact is a Shane Watson supporter.
“I’m not necessarily his biggest fan. I mean, it’s been a few years since I’ve had a Shane Watson poster on my wall, but I’ve never bagged the lad” said Longsmith.
“I’m telling the truth. I don’t even have a Facebook account. I’ve never seen any of these memes you are talking about.
I heard on the ABC that he has a front pad problem. Isn’t that a women’s issue? These metrosexuals have taken things too far.”
To corroborate his claims, local Telstra representative Cecil Lewis checked Longsmith’s records.
“It appears he’s speaking the truth about Facebook. He doesn’t even have an internet connection. It is highly possible he has never heard of Watto Lotto.”
Longsmith says it was difficult to hear that Watson had been dropped.
“The problem now is that if Mitch Marsh fails, the wireless will be clogged with calls to try Glenn Maxwell as our all-rounder again. If that happens, I’ll be forced to pen a letter to my local member.”
Long term Watson watcher and critic, Mr James Anderson said he believes Longsmith’s story is hard to fathom.
“Let’s be honest. It is impossible to watch a cricket match with Watson playing and not get frustrated. I’m yet to meet anyone who doesn’t want to kick the cat every time he gets out.”
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