Kevin Pietersen reviews his 2014 IPL season

Howzit Delhi Daredevils fans.

Let’s be honest. I hate Delhi.

If it wasn’t for the £880,000 I was paid, I’d never choose to come here. It’s a bit dirty and smelly and yuck. Kinda like the IPL really. Except that in the IPL, sometimes you get paid for not coming to Delhi. Like I did in 2013.

Delhi played 14 matches this year. That’s a great achievement, matched only by 7 other sides. We even won two of them.

That left us 8th. That’s the same as England’s T20 ranking.

We dedicated one win to Srini and one to Sunny. Some in the team wanted to dedicate a win to Justice Mudgal to keep him happy, but we were told by Meiyappan than two wins was enough.

I think I did alright this year.

Gary made me captain.  I didn’t play the first three games of the season just to make sure he didn’t want to change his mind.

I’m glad he didn’t as Delhi had the best feeling I’ve felt in a dressing room since the Sydney Test. I think that was because we at least won something.

Also,  Alistair Cook and Matt Liar, I mean Prior, don’t play in my team.

My bowling was awesome this season. It was so good, we never had to use it.

I also made a 50. Hey Paul Downton. How many 50’s did your fan boys make in the IPL this year? Less than me I reckon. Even if you combine them all together. Wait until Piers hears about that. He’s gonna tweet something about it, I’m sure.

Next step is the Melbourne Stars. Warney tells me it’s where all the greats go to close out their careers and have bats chucked at them by Marlon Samuels. Marlon also chucks the ball.

Speak later. Well probably not. I don’t do media unless Downton has made a goose of himself again. Then I remind him of my MBE for services to English cricket.

Kind Regards

Kevin Peter Pietersen from Pietersmaritzburg

Follow @denniscricket_