The great thing about cricket lately, is that usually if the day ends with the letter “Y”, we have a controversy of some description in our midsts.
The bit that makes it fun for all of us except Indians, is that they usually involve Indians.
Issues like DRS, match fixing, conflicts of interest, belligerent board presidents, bullying and allowing Zaheer Khan to take 300 wickets are all very Indian.
It is therefore easy to come to disparaging conclusions about the stink that currently surrounds MS Dhoni.
So before you all scream “GUILTY, GUILTY” even though none of us have read the Mudgal report or seen the names in that secret envelope, it is time someone stood up for the great man, or, if not the great man, at least we should stand up for MS Dhoni
Here goes nothing:
INDIA CEMENTS
All the great members of Indian cricket society are employees at India Cements. Managing Director Srinivasan and his merry band of trusted Vice Presidents clearly have Indian cricket as their number one priority. Why else would they buy the Chennai Super Kings and instill an Indian Cement Vice President as the team’s captain?
Even the Supreme Court has weighed in on the issue lately, banning all India cement employees from working at the BCCI. Why? Because it leaves no room for other cement company employees to bring their ideas to the table. For example, we all know that senior executives at Pakistan Cements also have Indian cricket as their number one priority.
Also, India Cement employees work closely with the Indian government for the good of the people. Look at Jagan Reddy for example. India cements gave this politician over USD$2m to ensure they could bypass environmental laws and pump extra water from critical river ecosystems. No water means no cement. No cement means no grandstands in Chennai. Cricket would be the loser.
Therefore, given MS Dhoni is an Indian Cements employee, it logically flows that he also has Indian cricket as his first love. Clearly, this absolves him from being involved in any funny business that is alleged of him
TAX INVESTIGATION
The Income Tax Department is currently looking into tax implications of four post-dated cheques worth about USD$1m issued by Dhoni’s sponsor Amrapali. Dhoni’s wife holds a 25% stake in a joint venture between MS Dhoni and Amrapali.
As we all know, those targetted by any county’s tax department is usually innocent. These investigations are almost always extremely vexatious in nature and started by someone in the department (or an Australian) who is jealous of the targetted person’s success.
Remember Sachin Tendulkar and that tax issue with his Ferrari?
THE BOWLING ATTACK
Dhoni has had to captain the most ridiculous bowlers over most of his career. Ishant, Harbhajan, Sreesanth and Zaheer. When you add the pressure of trying to hide Ashwin’s chucks from umpires, it would lead most people to drink.
However, in Dhoni’s case, he was strong enough to limit his negative responses to just making horrible on-field captaincy decisions.
None of these decisions were financially driven. Whoever suggested that is clearly not an Indian Cements employee.
So there you have it. A clear case of jealousy and misinterpretation when in fact, we should be be building more shrines to the one known as Mahendra Singh. I’m sure he will thank me later.
Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments section below
