Unless you have your head firmly under a rock (and I could provide some example names here but have chosen not to), you would be aware that Kevin Pietersen has released his autobiography.
The quick summation is that in his view, Prior, Anderson and Broad are all bullies.
Former Coach Andy Flower was on an ego trip and captain Alastair Cook is someone he dearly wants to be mates with.
In any case, to save you reading the whole thing, I’ve picked out the best quotes.
It should give you a pretty good taste of the flavour of the book.
‘The irony of Prior yelling at team mates for dropping catches was lost on no one. The guy let through more byes in his last Test than he made runs’
‘I only kept getting out to Peter Siddle so that his average would drop below that of Anderson’s. It worked. Jimmy is so overrated. ‘
‘I wasn’t crying because of the ‘KP Genius’ twitter parody account. I was distraught that the Richie Benaud parody twitter account was shut down’
‘I was angry that Swann quit after the Perth Test. I told him to quit after Brisbane, but Prior lobbied for him to stink up two more Tests’
‘I’m not sure that ECB President Giles Clarke liked me telling him that the colour ‘Solar Red’ kinda looks like orange’
‘The thing is, I did call Strauss a doos in that text to Graeme Smith. It’s Afrikaans for monkey. Harbhajan tells me that’s no big deal’
‘Prior was jealous that I had hair and he didn’t. Trotty didn’t seem to mind.’
“To keep my wife Jessica happy, I asked that the official team song to be something from Liberty X. Broad wanted ‘I’m a Barbie girl’ by Aqua. That’s when the shit got real”
‘When I pronounced Quinoa phonetically and not as ‘Kinwah’, things really got bad with Flower’
‘I left South Africa because of the quota system, only to find the ECB have a quota system as well. No personalities’
‘Prior really got annoyed when I gave everyone a Nena and Pasadena cap, but not him’
Of course, the ECB have replied:
‘We have received a copy of Kevin’s book and will reply in due course.’
However, I suspect that this is what is really happening at English cricket headquarters: