Are you a newspaper writer that is struggling to meet your World Cup preview deadlines? Perhaps you are a sports journalist student looking to impress your lecturer? Maybe you are just a mediocre blogger?
Whatever the situation, I have you covered.
Below is my patented and simple to use ‘2015 Cricket World Cup Preview’ writing template.
The reality is that every World Cup Preview is basically the same. Go ahead and read them. It’s like Groundhog Day or when you listen to a Verve album. Every song sounds the same.
So instead of trying to reinvent the wheel, just jump on board this easy to use cheat sheet.
Simply cross out the parts that are not relevant and send the final copy to your (editor/mate who likes cricket/Harsha Bhogle’s young writers competition).
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(Your Name/Your Publication/Ravi Shastri) Previews the 2015 Cricket World Cup
The 2015 cricket World Cup is almost upon us. How (exciting/much money can the ICC milk from this/on earth is Michael Slater still a commentator).
It guarantees to be a (boring/prolonged/drawn out) spectacle, with (only decent/14 out of 180 odd ICC member) cricketing nations descending on Australia and (East Australia/that place we make sheep jokes about/that place where Luke Ronchi was granted political asylum).
Speaking of New Zealand, they enter the tournament as (dark horses/2nd favourite) and have their best chance ever of winning (anything/the right to reclaim Russell Crowe).
Australia are deserved favourites on the back of some brilliant (Warner sledging/Maxwell get out shots/captaincy issues/Doherty bowling/leaked dating stories about Shane Warne).
South Africa will also feel confident given they are experts at (choking/not winning/really, choking is the term we should use) when it comes to the important knock out stages.
England have entered their (ex KP/ex Cook/ex Swann/ex Prior/ex Trott/ex Stokes/ex Dernbach/ex Borthwick/new) era chock full of (new excuses/false hope/ODI losses). This should place them in good stead to (embarrass themselves/extend Paul Downton’s contract/blame Kevin Pietersen/wish they had more foreigners in the team).
One should never discount Sri Lanka, as (no one can spell their names/no one knows any players except for Sangakkara/Herath looks fit/they actually won this event once. How the hell did that happen?).
The West Indies could pull off the odd surprise like (quitting during the tournament/publishing pictures of Chris Gayle’s conquests/reaching 100 in a game).
India, the reigning champions will struggle (to win a match/with DRS/to work out what to do with Stuart Binny/without access to John the bookmaker/to get MS Dhoni to say anything meaningful at a press conference/to find a decent vegetarian restaurant in Hobart).
Shahid Afridi will be the sole reason to watch Pakistan. Expect plenty of (ducks/stupid comments about records he wants to break/ball biting/animated yelling matches with Misbah) from the 16 year old veteran.
Finally, keep an eye out for minnows Bangladesh, Zimbabwe, Ireland, UAE, Afghanistan and Scotland. Combined, you should expect to see (not much of interest/empty grandstands/associate nation hipsters making a big deal out of irrelevant things they do/plenty of their players drunk in strip clubs).
Players that will have a big bearing on the end result include (Meiyappan/the MCG seagull/Salman Butt).
The final will be an event not to be missed. Expect to witness (overpriced beer/warm beer/some random liquid marketed as beer) but not (India/Nathan Lyon/a match winning performance from James Anderson/a decent haircut on Wayne Parnell).
All in all, the 2015 Cricket World Cup promises to (get in the way of the start of the AFL season/be a missed opportunity to grow the game globally/be full of horrible and cringe worthy TV commentary moments).
I predict that (we won’t want to see another World Cup for a while/the commentary will be full of T20 comparisons/the TV graphics structure will be really really annoying/if the Pakistani coach doesn’t die in his hotel room like in 2007, then we will deem it a successful tournament).
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Footnote: I have also made a handy ‘Harsha Bhogle Writing Template‘ for you also. Its been a best seller.
Great article as usual. Enjoyed it very much and loved the wit. Even I could write a cricket article with the information supplied hahaha keep up the good work Dennis
You should have a crack at it 🙂
*bitchslaps Dennis for the minnow comment*