Yep, it’s that time again where an arbitrary date lands on our calendar, giving us the licence we need to rip into everyone and everything.
How has your team fared at the half way mark of the year?
Let’s take a look.
Really haven’t put a foot wrong. In fact, have done almost everything right.
A T20 World Cup win, a clean sweep of England in all formats of the game and single handedly raised the profile of the mankad. They managed to pay their players, win the Asian Cup and their captain Angelo Mathews now has the highest batting average when innings played as captain are isolated, only behind some guy called Don Bradman
All of this done while being described as a “County Attack” and having a player accused of chucking.
A sterling performance.
The basket case of world cricket.
The whole KP thing, 5th in the Test and ODI rankings, 8th in the T20 rankings, a series loss to Sri Lanka, lost the Ashes, haven’t won a Test now in 8 matches, sacked their best coaches in Gooch and Mushtaq, kept their worst coach in Saker, recycled a coach in Moores, don’t know who their best number 3,4,5,6 or 7 is, don’t have a spinner, lost to Holland, gave a man of the series award to the bloke that lost them the series on the penultimate ball and their captain has been described by Warne as “the worst seen in world cricket for 25 years.”
It is so bad that Stuart Broad is taking hat tricks and not even realising it.
If they were a dog, you would have them put down.
Won the Ashes and beat South Africa on an away tour. In the process, regained the world’s #1 Test and ODI team ranking.
That’s pretty good.
Australia also gave England a opener to help them out a bit. The Spirit of Cricket is alive and well.
Managed to have their chairman banned by the Supreme Court at home, yet simultaneously have him elected as the ICC President. David Copperfield would be proud of that trick.
They have only played 2 Tests so far this year and lost that series to NZ. That’s crap for the biggest cricketing nation on the planet.
Playing part of their domestic T20 competition in Dubai was novel, as was having an arrest warrant out for their captain MS Dhoni.
Oh yeah. They lost the T20 World Cup final.
Beat India and the WI at home in Tests, smashed India 4-0 in the ODI series and McCullum scored the Kiwi’s first ever triple century. However, they failed in the T20 World Cup and gave us Lou Vincent.
The clear highlight was Martin Crowe opening a twitter account.
Lost to Australia at home, their now Irish skipper retired and racial quotas were increased.
On the positive, AB deVilliers continued to prove why he is something special, as did Dale Steyn in the T20 World Cup and IPL
Beat Sri Lanka in an ODI series, but lost to them in the Asian Cup Final.
They also had the ICC concede that they will get the 4th largest share of cricket revenues.
Not much else happened really.
This random collection of sovereign nations made it through to the Semi Final of the T20 World Cup before cruelly being knocked out by Duckworth Lewis. They also beat England in a T20 series at home, but lost the ODI’s 2-1. Finally, they lost a T20 series against NZ.
The most excitement was Narine choosing to play the IPL final over the Test series against NZ.
Bangladesh and Zimbabwe
Had a player release a YouTube video on unfair selection policies. Gold
Brunei and Tonga
Brunei managed to get themselves suspended from the ICC. How is that even possible. What did they do that’s worse than Srini?
Tonga went one step further and got themselves kicked out. They were replaced with Oman.
Used Twitter and Facebook to conduct a war between the two administrative bodies that claim to rule cricket in America.
B for the entertainment
So, what did I miss?
- Why I’m Scared of Travelling to Pakistan - February 19, 2020
- Why Islamabad United Won’t Improve Your Sex Life and How To Fix It - January 2, 2020
- The Only Honest Review of The PSL 2020 Draft on the Internet - December 7, 2019
- Dennis Does The World Cup: My essential guide to a very un-international international cricket tournament - June 2, 2019
- Dennis Does Pakistan – Full Documentary - April 14, 2019