Dear Jimmy (do you mind if I call you Jimmy?),
Ok, I’ll call you James.
I’ve slipped on my pair of sensible pants to write this humbling letter to you. By the way, has it ever bothered you that it’s called a “pair of pants”? It’s not like you wear two of them. That would look ridiculous, but I digress.
The thing is James, I actually like you.
Clearly you don’t like me because you blocked me on Twitter. It was probably because I wrote this about you back when we were starting to get to know each other.
It was a factually correct piece, but I can see why you took it as criticism.
Being labelled James Overattedson is probably not the nicest nickname I’ve come up with, but you must understand I did it to make a point with your fans.
You see, they seem to think that you are a great of the game. I had to point out at the stats don’t quite tell the same story.
Swinging the ball is one thing. Taking wickets at an average over 30 with an Imran Tahir like strike rate is another.
However, time are changing James.
I just checked your average and it is starting to fall.
At the time of writing it is 30.09.
Glory is in sight James.
I’ve done the maths and two more wickets would have your average below 30. It would be a respectable Peter Siddle like 29.93. Well, he is actually 29.37, but I’m sure you understand what I mean.
You James are so close to finally joining the fast bowler “Under 30” club.
You can leave the “Over 30” club of Zaheer Khan, Ishant Sharma and Scott Muller behind.
Think of it as a graduation James.
So, I tip my hat to you.
Although your wicket taking celebrations resemble those of a cabaret dancer, you abuse smaller Indian men (not in a Rolf Harris type of way.. well not that I’m aware of) and you let these photos leak, you are having a fair dinkum crack.
Broken effing arm? How about broken effing 30.
Come on James. Let’s see you rid yourself of that awful Overattedson tag once and for all.
You are so close. Don’t stuff it up.
I’m cheering for you.