Muller Award Honour Board

 

 

In many of our podcasts, we award the “Muller Award” to underappreciated acts in the world of cricket for that week.

It is named after Australian fast bowling legend Scott Muller, who after 2 Tests, was cruelly sledged out of the side by his own teammates.

Here are his bowling stats:

Tests: 2 Runs: 258 Wickets: 7 BBI: 3/68 BBM: 4/131 Ave: 36.85 SR: 49.7 (much better than James Anderson who is closer to 60)

Winners

2013

15/11/13 – The inaugural winner of the Scott Muller Award was Aaron Finch for making two golden ducks in a row when challenging for a Test spot

20/11/13 – Matthew Wade for being convicted of pitch tampering in a Shield Match

27/11/13 – Channel 9 for taking technology backwards with the reintroduction of the Tony Greig Weather Wall.

4/12/13 – The ICC Test Team of the Year Selectors for picking the team blindly. As an example, the team has two wicketkeepers in it.

10/12/13 – Stuart Broad for taking time wasting to a new level by being distracted by a shiny sight screen and then being dismissed the very next ball.

18/12/13 – Shane Watson for possibly the most stupid Test match run out by ball gazing as he was dropped and then Bresnan threw down the stumps in disgust.

24/11/13 – 2013 Golden Muller Gala Award Winners

  • Emerging Twitter Talent – @NotDavid Warner for his amazing photoshop ability
  • Best Old Fogey Cricket Tweeter Rob Moody for having over 1 million views on his cricket YouTube channel
  • Best Hashtag of the Year – #EscapeGoat
  • Best Incentive To Switch To Test Match Sofa – Ian Botham for “Beefy’s BBQ”
  • Best Off-Field Performance By A Cricketer award – David Warner for hitting Joe Root
  • Best On-Field Performance By A Cricketer – The English cricket team for pissing on the pitch
  • The 2013 Golden Muller Award – Billy Bowden for umpiring an Ashes Test match despite not being qualified to do so

31/11/13 – Nathan Coulter – Nile for attempting to take a catch on the boundary but threw it over the boundary instead for 6.

2014

7/1/14 – Boyd Rankin for being the first bowler to bowl 2 x 1 ball overs in a Test match due to injury

16/1/14 – Moises Henriques for making a pair in a T20 match. How is that even possible?

3/2/14 – Whoever did the powerpoint slides at the AB Medal awards night for spelling Michael Clarke incorrectly.

10/2/14 – Shikhar Dhawan for celebrating his Test century against NZ one run too early

17/2/14 – Michael Clarke for his horrible use of the English language

25/2/14 – The South African Selectors for telling Dean Elgar he had lost his contract then picking him for the next Test match.

6/3/14 – Abdul Rahman for being the first spin bowler we know of that has been removed from the attack for dangerous bowling by bowling three beamers in an over.

18/5/14 –  Mushtaq Ahmed for being sacked by the ECB as a part time spin coach, but rebounding within 24 hours by taking up a role with the PCB.

26/5/14 – Pompous ECB Chairman Giles Clarke for claiming that the English captain needs to come from the “right kind of family”

10/6/14 – Shane Warne finally gets on the scoreboard for getting paid to have butt implant surgery

1/7/14- The Lord’s cricket ground wins for charging the ridiculous price of 125 pounds for a seat to watch England vs Sri Lanka

8/7/14 – For not knowing that the microphone is always on, Andrew Strauss wins this week after being broadcast calling Kevin Pietersen a c***

29/7/14 – Ravi Jadeja wins for getting fined by Srinivasan’s ICC for abusing Anderson, and then having Srinivasan’s BCCI appeal the fine against Srinivasan’s ICC. You follow?

12/8/14 – Stuart Broad becomes our first multiple winner of the Muller Award for winning the Man of the Match Award in the 4th England v India Test at Old Trafford, despite playing less than half the match.

18/8/14 – The Indian cricket Team for being fined for slow over rates in a match that was over in less than 3 days and where they only bowled once. How does that even work?

2/9/14 – The ECB for dropping James Tredwell from their ODI team, despite him taking more wickets than any other Englishmen in the preceding 12 months in the short format of the game. They also continue to select Alastair Cook, despite him going 40 innings in a row without a century (at the time of writing).

1/10/14 – The PCB finally make it onto the Honour Board after banning 16 players in their domestic Pakistani leagues for chucking

14/10/14 – The Queensland Bulls for launching their new sponsor, my FootDr. What a ridiculous bloody name.

23/10/14 – We dump on everyone who lives in the West Indies for allowing the team to withdraw mid series against India. It will probably kill of West Indies cricket for ever. Great stuff.

4/11/14 – Mark Ramprakash for replacing Graeme Gooch as England’s batting coach. He has a Test batting average of 27. That’s less than Ed Cowan, Phil Hughes and Phil Tuffnell.

12/11/14 – The ICC are back again for announcing this week that it is possible to have a joint winner of the World Cup is there is a tie.

25/11/14 – The Pakistani Embassy in Belgium for well…just read this story that involves a cricket bat, terrorism, stupidity and false pride

20/12/14 – The 2014 Golden Muller Award Winners

  • The Stuart Broad Award for best on field performance – Stuart Broad for taking a hat-trick against Sri Lanka and not realising
  • The David Boon Award for best off field performance – Ben Stokes for punching a locker and breaking his hand
  • The Shane Warne Award for best new look – Misbah ul Haq for reinventing himself from a slow plodder to a rapidly scoring dynamo with the equal fastest Test century off 56 balls
  • The Alastair Cook award for least deserving selection – Alastair Cook
  • The Micky Arthur Award for best communication – The ECB for the Kevin Pietersen dossier
  • The coveted 2014 Golden Muller Award – Srinivasan for ruining the ICC, perjuring himself in front of the Indian Supreme Court, being labelled as ‘nauseating’ by that same court, not understanding what conflict of interest means and for providing us with quote of the year “I have done nothing wrong”.

2015

11/1/15 – Kevin Pietersen gets the nod for putting his hand up to captain the Prime Minister’s XI against England

29/1/15 – After being spooked by a ghost, Pakistani Haris Sohail missed two days of training.

12/2/15 – Michael Clarke for being a cricketing ‘try hard’. Opening the batting and having a bowl in Australia’s World Cup warm up game against the UAE.

24/2/15 – The umpires at the Australia v England World Cup opener for not knowing the rules in regards to dead balls

5/3/15 – Virat Kohli for being a dick by abusing a reporter and not saying sorry.

10/3/15 – The Japan Cricket Association for this tweet after England got dumped out of the World Cup by Bangladesh:

Japan Cricket Assoc. on Twitter Dear ECB_cricket this might not be a great time but as there s room in your schedule fancy a game in Japan on the way home challenge

16/3/15 – Ireland’s John Mooney wins this week for hitting himself in the face attempting a ramp shot.

10/4/15 – ECB President Giles Clarke wins for being a pompous arse at the Wisden 2014 book launch.

22/4/15 – Cricket South Africa hit the Muller Award board for this spelling effort of the word ‘Africa’

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1/5/15 – Guest Lalit Modi pots BCCI Secretary Anurag Thakur for this open letter to ICC Chairman Srinivasan.

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18/5/15 – Andrew Strauss becomes the first person to win the award twice for the same event. The man who called KP a ‘c%nt’ live on air gets it again for this week saying that there are trust issues between him and Kevin. No shit!

31/5/15 – We nominate ourselves for not being able to come up with any decent nominations for the Scott Muller Award this week. Cat and I are so proud.

19/6/15 – The West Indies Cricket Board win the Muller this week for re-using stumps in the Australian Test series that they used in the English Test series. No one would have noticed if they hadn’t crossed out the words “England”.

3/7/15 – Glenn Maxwell wins this week for catching a ball in an Ashes warm up game one handed. In the other hand, he had an icecream.

6/7/15 – The South African team win the award for flying a drone in a Bangladeshi ‘no fly zone’.

13/7/15 – Whoever signed off on the Opening Ceremony for The Ashes. What a shocker!

20/7/15 – Our man Srinivasan is back on the winner’s board after saying “I am answerable to no one” when asked about his reaction to the banning of CSK from the IPL.

3/8/15 – Dennis wins it himself for this:

10/8/15 – Kiwi freelance journalist Bill Bennett wins it for totally disrespecting the name of our podcast.

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24/8/15 – Warnie wins it again for about the 12th time for this:

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27/9/15 – Japan Rugby Union win the award this week for showing the ICC that bigger World Cups are better World Cups by upsetting the Springboks.

31/10/15 – The touring Kiwis get the award for deciding that a pitch that they leaked 1/52 on to a CA XI side was unsafe for them to bat on.

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9/11/15 -Possibly for the last time, Srinivasan wins the Muller Award for getting fired as ICC Chairman. Where will cricket get its cement from now?

23/11/15 – Finally, the Kiwis make the honour board for giving Mitchell Johnson three guards of honour in his final Test match at the WACA.

30/11/15 – Grant Baldwin is the Australian team’s massage therapist. He was also the substitute fielder in the Pink Ball Test.

7/12/15 – The guy who drove this taxi onto a pitch in the middle of a game in QLD.

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21/12/15 – Just when you thought West Indian cricket couldn’t fall any further, Jerome Taylor missed a catch because he was looking at the crowd and not the game.

21/12/15 – The 2015 Golden Muller Award Winner

It was pretty easy this year. Shane Warne’s mural won by the length of a Mohammad Amir overstep.

7/1/16 – The opposition bowlers who let Pranav Dhanawade make 1009*.

20/1/16 – Virat Kohli wins for this sledge to James Faulkner:

“I’ve smashed you enough in my life. No point (sledging). Just go and bowl” 

When asked about it, he Kohli followed up with: “actually not far off from the truth”.

8/2/16 – The IPL squad selectors win this week for not picking up Khawaja, Guptill, Bailey, Tait or Mike Hussey

24/2/16 – The Pakistani government for locking up a Virat Kohli fan for flying an Indian flag. He got 10 years. Arsehattery.

7/3/16 – The Australian Football League win the award this show for pushing the Shield final to Alice Springs should Victoria win the right to host the final. The MCG no longer has a pitch, but does have goalposts.

1/4/16 – Mick Lewis is an arsehat. Enough said.

29/4/16 – Sean Dixon wins for being the 60th man ever dismissed Handled The Ball in 1st Class Cricket.

10/5/16 – We pot Shoaib Malik for promising to come on the show, not turning up at the allotted time and then having his agent ring half way through our recording to apologise.

31/5/16 – Piers Morgan wins for tweeting “Congrats Alastair Cook, youngest to reach 10k test runs & youngest to stop a teammate doing it by sacking him. #KP”

12/7/16 – Lendl Simmons hits the scoreboard after batting in a CPL match with only one pad.

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8/8/16 – Shane Watson for forgetting that a T20 match lasts 20 overs. He tried to walk off after only 19 in a CPL game.

29/8/16 – The Tamil Nadu Premier League has been launched by Srini. This guy is like a cockroach. You can’t kill him off.

5/9/16 – A massive call out to every Indian arsehat who caused Stuart Binny’s wife to post this on social media:

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12/9/16 – AB de Villers launched a book. In it he told us that all of the junior achievements he was linked to were a lie. Screw you AB!

19/9/16 – The Lahore Whateveryoucallems in the PSL for trading Chris Gayle out for Sohail Tanvir

26/9/16 – While trying to save a Test for New Zealand, Ross Taylor decided that grounding his bat was a dumb idea.

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11/10/16 – The ECB are back for dropping Durham to the 2nd Division for reasons only described as arsehattery.

18/10/16 – Michael Clarke’s 60 Minutes interview was a trainwreck

1/11/16 – Umpire Dharmesena for having 27 reviews against him in the 2nd Bangladesh versus England Test.

15/11/16 – It didn’t take long for Warnie to get back on the honour board. This time, it was for telling us the story of the Scott Muller sledge. Wanna hear it? Listen to this show.

22/11/16 – Faf gets back on the board for his second ball tampering conviction. #MintGate

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6/12/16 – Warniemojis

31/1/17 – Michael Slater for constantly referring to Ellyse Perry as a “sportspeople”.

2/2/17 – Shane Warne is back again for launching his on-stage production of “Warney – UnCut”. We hope it is not him proving that he is not circumcised.

20/2/17 – Umar Akmal storms home after claiming he is putting on weight from only drinking water.

4/4/17 – James Anderson for sooking about not being interviewed for the English captaincy.

13/7/17- Alistair Cook for stating that Stuart Clarke was the scariest bowler he has faced.

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