English umpire Nigel Llong has come under intense scrutiny this week, after controversially giving Nathan Lyon Not Out when the Kiwi’s thought they had their man.
This was despite Hot Spot showing Lyon had hit the ball.
It may have cost New Zealand the Test match.
Dennis Does Cricket has come through once again with this exclusive interview with Llong, in a bid to better understand what makes him tick.
So, Nigel, perhaps you can talk us through what your role was in Adelaide as the 3rd Umpire?
Not really Dale.
It’s Dennis. To clarify weren’t you the TV guy for Adelaide though?
Sorry Derrick. Yeah, I probably was that guy. However, we like to refer to it as the 3rd umpire.
Isn’t that what I said?
Sorry, I didn’t pick up a sound from your lips on Snicko.
So how come you gave Nathan Lyon Not Out despite the obvious Hot Spot mark on his bat?
Well, that mark could have come from anywhere Darryl.
It’s Dennis. What do you mean by anywhere? Give me an example?
It could have come from the atmospheric differences under lights caused by the space continuum caused by the pink ball.
What does that mean exactly?
Did you know I’m up to level 139 on Candy Crush?
I beg your pardon?
I know. It’s a bloody tough level to reach.
Sigh. Ok Nigel. Let’s move on. What’s the umpire’s role in making calls on LBW these days?
To be honest David, we don’t have a role anymore. We have DRS for that now. Who wants to get it wrong and look like a fool on national TV? Best to give everything Not Out.
It’s Dennis. My name is Dennis. Anyhow, what about controversial catches?
Yeah, nah… the guy in the box will press the button that turns on the red or green light for me.
Do you need to be able to count to six?
Billy Bowden has coached us that five or seven is close enough. Overs can be of any length these days. Variety is the spice of life.
Yeah, that TV guy thing again.
What about the really important stuff? Do you flick the bails at the end of each session?
Yes Donald. It’s important that we hover over them for a few seconds before the flick to create tension. We practice that.
My name is Dennis.
I guess you still hold the bowlers glasses, jumper and hat?
Yes. I was rated second last year in hat-on-hat balancing.
Do you call wides?
This is sacrosanct. Thank God for those little white lines on the crease. We don’t need the TV guy for that.
Thanks for your time Nigel.