In what can only be described as an act of arsehattery, BCCI President Anurag Thakur today explained why India won’t be playing Pakistan anytime soon.
“Essentially, they are a pack of terrorists” Thakur said without hesitation.
“Every terrorist act in India is a direct result of Pakistan. Every single one of them. Even those that aren’t Pakistan’s fault like when our men rape our own women. That’s Pakistan’s fault too.
I blame all of the citizens of Pakistan directly. Even the children. Every Pakistani is essentially carrying the face of the devil.
There is no good in Pakistan . This is the country that invented Taher Shah. What further proof does one need?
A panel that I instigated, headed by Ravi Shastri concluded that Misbah is Idi Amin’s love child. Younis most likely donates his children’s organs to Boko Haram.
Shahid Afridi was placed on this earth by Gargamel.
Their doctors are all practising witchcraft. Their politicians all harbour ISIS fighters in their homes.
Their most famous stadium in Lahore is even named after Gaddafi. What does that tell you?
There is no way we would ever send our team to play them anywhere.
Well, unless it is a World Cup. Then it’s ok because of the money and stuff. But apart from that, Pakistan is the roguest of the rogue.
Dr Evil probably holds a Pakistani passport. In fact, I’m sure of it.
We need nothing from Pakistan. Actually, Akram and Ramiz are kind of useful during the IPL, but that’s the only two out of 180 million people.
So in concluding, may God bless everyone except Pakistan and perhaps Donald Trump.”