Hi there!

I’m Dennis Freedman and welcome to my website.

Within these pages, you should expect to find a mixture of articles, podcasts and random things to make cricket more fun and less stuffy.

You won’t get bored, unless you like reading long winded essays with big words no-one can really understand. We don’t have those.

To Get Started

Firstly, be awesome and subscribe to my site. I’ll email you every time something new appears.

Sign Up Here

 

virat kohli

Virat Kohli stopped me for a selfie. I said yes, as long as I could make myself look old and startled. He agreed.

Prose

I’ve decided to collate all my cricket stuff into one easy to ridicule place. I hope you enjoy trolling through its pages.

Other places that have published my stuff for some unknown reason:

I had pieces tweeted out by Indian politicians.

Even the ABC have linked to my pieces. Their standards are slipping.

Most remarkably, I’ve also had a tweet appear in Time Magazine and it had nothing to do with cricket.

I get around more than Shane Warne on a Tinder binge.

sunday telegraph

The UK’s Sunday Telegraph are very selective with their Tweets of the Day. Quote from 23/8/15

Podcast, Radio and TV

Listen to “The Can’t Bowl Can’t Throw Cricket Show” live on EON Sports Radio every Tuesday at 7pm Melbourne time. I host it and talk crap about the game, but mainly laugh at the funnies.
We turn that into a cricket podcast for those that can’t get Australian radio. It is probably the most cricket podcast listened to in the world.

Sometimes I appear on TV.  Once it was via Crimewatch, but usually it is via The Sledge on Channel 31 in Melbourne

I have interviewed everyone from IPL founder Lalit Modi, through to Adam Gilchrist and everyone in between. The list grows every week.

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Bay 13

I’ve created a place where I attempt to showcase and assist great young writers.

It’s called ‘Bay 13’ after the famous, and now defunct area of the MCG where real men drank full strength beer and held up “Bring Back Deano” signs.

If you want to play and be a contributor, please drop me a line.

shikhar dhawan

I was in a rush, but was happy to stop for a blurry selfie for fan Shikhar Dhawan

So, if you’re a relation to Mr Packer and want some new blood on your Channel 9 Cricket coverage, drop me a line. I’m available.

I will probably also settle for the odd ABC radio gig.

If not that, perhaps Cricinfo might mistakenly publish one of my tweets?

We can only dream.

Social Media Links

Follow me on Twitter to have your timeline spammed continually with my views on everything to do with cricket.

Like my Facebook page for photo caption funnies and alerts of new articles on this site.

I use Instagram to share what ‘behind the scenes’ looks like in my life.

I only started my Google + profile to help my Google search results. However the crew on there are great guys.

Here’s the #UniverseBoss taking a selfie with Chris Gayle

 

Now What?

 

If I were you, I’d sign up to my newsletter, look through the archives, check out the testimonials and listen to a podcast or two. Close it all out by watching some of my videos.

 

Untitled

Here’s where I broke the internet in Pakistan.

 

Dennis Does 100 Questions

(Actually, it’s only 96. Don’t tell anyone)

One of these men is the next great Australian allrounder. The other is James Faulkner

One of these men is the next great Australian all-rounder. The other is James Faulkner

 

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

It doesn’t have a page 18.

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

My sister. That was a little bit awkward.

Before you started this survey, what were you doing?

Looking on google for a list of 100 questions that I could steal and use on this page

What is the last thing you watched on TV?

It was a double episode pilot about what appeared to be a family that had a cross dressing dad and bi-curious daughters. I wasn’t really paying attention.

Without looking, guess what time it is

9.26am

Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

11.04pm

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

Kookaburra’s and Puffing Billy rumbling along the back fence

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

This morning. I went to pick up the newspaper.

Did you dream last night?

Yes

Do you remember your dreams?

Usually

When did you last laugh?

I laugh every hour, on the hour. The world is just a funny place.

Do you remember why / at what?

Probably at something Glenn Maxwell did on the cricket field or a Dan Liebke tweet.

What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Paint.

Seen anything weird lately?

You mean, apart from this picture of Harsha Bhogle? Not really.

Harsha Bhogle

What do you think of this quiz?

It’s just more paperwork.

What is the last film you saw?

American Sniper

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

It’s a toss up between New York, Kangaroo Ground, Istanbul and Amsterdam. Menzies Creek, where I live now is pretty special though.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

A Land Rover Defender with all the offroad gear and a decent swag.

Tell me something about you that most people don’t know.

I used to play acoustic guitar in a two piece band that changed names over the years from ‘Two is Enough’ to ‘Two Man Acoustical Jam’ to ‘Free Beer Tonight’. The last name was our most successful in terms of getting crowds in the door.

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Ensure that the world looked after its kids better.

Do you like to dance?

Only when drunk or when the nutbush comes on.

Would you ever consider living abroad?

I have and loved it.

I lived in Galesburg, Illinois in 2001/02.

I lived in Mumbai and Delhi in 2005/06

Does your name make any interesting anagrams?

Sinned

Enframed

Neither are really interesting.

Who made the last incoming call on your phone?

Lalit Modi’s lawyer

What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?

The complete Mike Masse catalogue. Remember when you first heard ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’? Mike will give you a moment like that when you hear his ‘Africa’ cover.

Last time you swam in a pool?

I swam in the Southern Ocean only 2 days ago. Does that count? In regards to a pool, it was Xmas 2014

Type of music you like most?

Depends on my mood. I love acoustic covers. I love classical. I love hip hop.

Type of music you dislike most?

Christian rock.

Are you listening to music right now?

No. I’m typing these answers. Blokes can’t do two things at once.

What color is your bedroom carpet?

It’s a kind of green. We didn’t choose it. It came like that when we bought the house.

If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?

Bench the acreage out the back and build an outdoor cinema

What was the last thing you bought?

A Swiss ball to sit on at work

Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?

Yes. I hired one in Goa to get around and explore.

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?

Maybe Sky Diving. Not sure about the bungee thing.

Do you have a garden?

Not a traditional one.

I just have this:

puffing Billy

and this:

menzies creek

and this:

Menzies Creek View

Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?

I know the first verse and the lead in to the second verse. Are they correct? I don’t know.

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?

Turning off the alarm

If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?

Richie Benaud. I want to know if he uses swear words when off camera.

Who sent the last text message you received?

Cat Jones. We are collaborating on the running sheet for our next podcast

Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

Oxford

What time is bed time?

When my wife tells me

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?

That I never have is one of the world’s great mysteries.

How many tattoos do you have?

None.

If you don’t have any, have you ever thought of getting one?

Yes. I just don’t know what to get.

What did you do for your last birthday?

I can’t remember. I probably just turned a year older.

Do you carry a donor card?

No. Now that you have prompted me, I’m going to fix that.

Who was the last person you ate dinner with?

My wife.

Is the glass half empty or half full?

Always half full. I can’t stand glass half empty people. Why waste life’s opportunities worrying about stuff that might happen. Get on with it!

What’s the farthest-away place you’ve been?

Google tells me it’s Boston at 16,922 kms from Melbourne.

London comes a close second at 16,893 kms from Melbourne

When’s the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?

Don’t know that I ever have.

Have you ever won a trophy?

Moorabbin Golf Club Junior Match Play Champion in 1992

Are you a good cook?

Compared to my wife? Yes

Compared to Heston Blumenthal? Probably not

Do you know how to pump your own petrol?

Is this a serious question?

If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?

My Polish great grandfather

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school?

Yes

Do you touch-type?

Two finger specialist

What’s under your bed?

Dust, an acoustic guitar and a travel bag.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

I don’t remember

Think fast, what do you like right now?

The fact that you have bothered to read this far. Well done you!

Where were you on Valentine’s day?

Can’t remember. Is that bad?

What time do you get up?

6.45am on weekdays.

As late as possible on weekends.

What was the name of your first pet?

Bessie. A English sheepdog.

Also a cat named Pongo. I have no idea why?

Who is the second to last person to call you?

Our workplace lawyer

Is there anything going on this weekend?

Yes. My wife thinks she is buying a horse.

How are you feeling right now?

Glass half full

What do you think about the most?

Dennis Does Cricket content. Is that bad?

If you had a Big Win in the Lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?

I wouldn’t tell anyone.

Who would you tell first?

Well maybe my wife

Do you sing in the shower?

Not usually

What do you do most when you are bored?

Go for a walk

What do you do for a living?

I can’t tell you that

Do you love your job?

Love is such a strong term.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Ruck rover for the mighty Carlton Football Club

If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be?

Cricket writer, commentator and broadcaster

Which came first the chicken or the egg?

The chicken and egg breakfast muffin from Oporto.

How many keys on your key ring?

Just two. one for the house and one for my car

Where would you retire to?

Somewhere in Gippsland along the Bass Coast.

What kind of car do you drive?

I have a 2006 Hyundai Sante Fe. My wife has a 2011 Kia Sorento.

The Santa fe is soon to be either a Defender or a ute.

What are your best physical features?

Depends who you ask.

What are your best characteristics?

Work ethic

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?

Pebbly Beach on the NSW South Coast

What kind of books do you like to read?

Non Fiction

What is your favorite time of the day?

Lunch time. I’m either socialising or at the gym.

Where did you grow up?

Springvale.

How far away from your birthplace do you live now?

About 35 kms

What are you reading now?

Fast Food Nation

Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Neither really

Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

No. what do you think I am. Some kind of freak?

Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows?

Yes. Simple

Do you have pets?

Depends if my wife buys that horse this weekend or not.

How many rings before you answer the phone?

As soon as I can work out who is calling me

What is your best childhood memory?

Too many to detail here. Also, I don’t want to incriminate myself.

Any new and exciting things that you would like to share?

I turn 40 this year [2015]

My youngest daughter starts school next week.

This website is now open to up and coming writing stars. I’m really excited about giving them a platform.

What is most important in life?

Happy wife, happy life

What Inspires You?

Anyone who has a crack.

 

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